Do You Wonder What Your Dog(s) Do While You Aren’t Home?

Are you one of those people who often says, half seriously, half in jest why don’t I record the dogs when I am gone? Do you ask yourself what they might be doing when you leave the house? Not me. I don’t wonder. At all. Heh.  I don’t wonder because I know exactly what they are doing when I’m not home. Not because I record them, or spy on them, or because I’m clairvoyant.  I know because they engage in all sorts of Tom Foolery and make no attempt whatsoever to conceal it.  You might think they even put it on display to irk me. Using the word “they” is misleading – Bella is an accomplice – an enabler if you will, poor, mellow Darby does nothing, and Jojo parties like it’s 1999. Tonight when I arrived home, the evidence of such hijinks are in plain sight. I walk into the kitchen and see the capsized garbage can . This is Bella’s doing. She’s not interested in what’s inside – she just needs to send a message to me that leaving her each morning for work is unacceptable to her. But take note that it’s empty – it was not empty when I left. I envision that Bella knocks it over and leaves and there stands Jojo thinking holy shit! There is an open garbage can with all sorts of things I can eat, chew up and chew on! So I proceed into the dining room and see this and this. Unfortunately (or fortunately) because I recycle, there are no plastic containers. Only lots and lots of paper, mail and cardboard – all items easily shredded into a million, difficult to pick up pieces by Jojo. Then I proceed into the living room and find this. Not super messy – it’s a chewed-up peanut butter jar lid. But it’s key because it was NOT in the garbage. It was on a not-empty peanut butter jar I had left on the cabinet.  Notice how it’s placed half under the armoire – partially concealed. And the bottom half of the jar? Still missing in action. This has Bella stamped all over it – smart girl stashed it someplace so she can go back in secret for peanut butter treats.  My girls are lucky I wear shirts that say things like this and have resources such as this at my disposal, or else they might be forced to panhandle in downtown Indy for their livelihood. Oh wait - Mr. Amateur Hour Mayor has devised a plan to drive the panhandlers out of donwtown, no doubt to help secure the Superbowl bid – he’s not trying to help them and  no one knows where they are going. Anyway, I digress. It’s so not fun having smart dogs sometimes. Lucy agrees.