Sweet Mother of Pearl I’m Happy the Colts Lost

And I’ll make sure to don my disguise before leaving the house or work today so as to not get mugged and beat up for having this sentiment.  The city has been upside down ever since they won the Superbowl last year. And there is of course the whole Lucas Oil Stadium debacle I won’t even go into. But the main reason I am glad they lost? No more fireworks from the redneck neighbor one block over with a mortar launcher that thinks it’s hi-f*^%ing-larious to shoot off stuff (loud bottle rockets seem to be the preferred flavor) every time the Colts score a touchdown. For the longest time no one could figure out what precipitated the fireworks but then neighbor Matt figured it out. For starters, it scares the living daylights out of Bella and Lucy and Molly. My huge wimp of a dog Bella starts panting, looking anxious, barking, hiding, and walks around trying to squish all 90 pounds of herself underneath whatever she can get underneath. Or there was the time she was in the backyard during a game and I was vacuuming. She was desperately trying to get inside but of course I could not hear her over the Dyson. Next thing I knew, Edith is pounding on my front door to tell me my dog is running up and down the alley and all over the neighborhood. No doubt having jumped the fence trying to find a safe haven from the noise. The fireworks don’t scare Jo so much as they have the effect of her chewing a whole pack of Nicorette, or drinking about 10 cups of coffee. And my little firecracker Jo needs no additional stimulants – chemical or otherwise. She’s already a spastic, high-energy freak. I finally had my fill I guess it was about 5-6 weeks ago when the Colts were playing a Sunday night game that started at 8. It was that really high-scoring game where they blew the opposition out of the water – I think by the end no starters were still playing. Finally at about 10pm after Bella trying to wedge herself underneath me in bed and 2 straight hours of Jo barking and about busting my ear drum, and keeping me awake on a school night, I called the police on him. I told the dispatch operator that I didn’t mean to be a wet blanket but someone needs to shut this freaking idiot up. What right do I have? Fireworks are illegal in Marion County unless it’s July 4th (and 4 days before and after) or New Year’s Eve.  And finally there was silence.  But he’s persistent so every game I would have to call the police. Now the Colts have lost and the season is over so I’m breathing a sigh of relief for now, at last, there will be peace and quiet.